#Candybar poem full

Sleigh Ride Hey come on, it's a Christmas song! Santa is Coming to Town You better watch out, you better not cry

Rum-Pum-Pum I'll stick my fingers up my rum-pum-pum-pum Puff Puff the magic tampon, live between her knees Ob-la-Di Desmond has a barrel in the market place Niggers In The Night Niggers in the night My Sister My sister has a vibrator, she crams it up her… Life of a Sperm The life of a sperm, was a sad, sad tale Kansas City I've had enough of this Christmas shit, let's rock out! Just the Two of Us I turn the playboy channel on, the very minute that… It's Beginning to Look It's beginning to look alot like syphilis, all around my… We should have listened to each other′s hearts I Am Pussy I am pussy, hear me roar, my tits are too… Hark the Herald Hark the harelip angel sings We have lyrics for these tracks by John Valby:ġ6 Tons I pulled her pants right down, and what did I…Īin't No Pussy Ain't no pussy when she's goneīeauty and the Beast Tale as old as timesĬhestnuts Chestnuts roasting on an open fireĭead Whore I fucked a dead whore by the roadsideĭelicious I was playing with my rod one dayĭo-Wah-Diddy Well, there she was just walking down the streetįavorite Things Merry Christmas, blow-jobs and hand-jobs and eatin' clitoris… Dirty' act, he has recorded and produced pop and rock albums for himself and other artists. See Richard Reuss' master thesis and Ed Cray's Erotic Muse for further examples. Many of the songs sung by Valby are drinking songs like Ya, Ya, Ya (aka Limericks), Roll Your Leg Over, Barnacle Bill, etc. From Hispanics to Irishmen, Polish to blacks, Arabs to rednecks, Republican and Democrats alike, no person and no group is safe from his jokes and his piano. However, his routine shows no favor and spares no target in pursuit of making his audiences laugh. His songs and shows focus mainly on sex and racial slurs, with a mix of current and historic people and events. He can always be found performing in his classic white tails tuxedo and black derby hat. Using an old-fashioned piano, he creates comedic parodies of classic songs.

#Candybar poem full

Read Full Bio John Valby (born 1945 in Rochester, New York) is a musician and comedian who plays in barrooms and college campuses across the east coast.

John Valby (born 1945 in Rochester, New York) is a musician and comedian who plays in barrooms and college campuses across the east coast.